First weeks of school

Yes, my first weeks of school already past. I am glad to can say I am okay.
I have my fears, but i'm going through with this.

The first couple of days I couldn't anything but cry, when I was alone.
Now that I live with myself, it got me more intense. I really was scared a lot.
But when the days past, the tears got less, and it stopped. I was hard on myself.
Stop crying, there's nothing i can change now. I have to keep going, I cannot quit.
Cause when I do, it's all over, I tried everthing, there's no hope.
But yeah, there's still hope now.

I eat, sleep ( alot) and get out of bed in the morning. I am glad I have shame. I can't stand not to go to school, cause then people will talk about me, they will think something, they will speak to me about it when they see me again. So I can't do that.

So I am there, on time, books in hand, like a nerd.
My class is okay. I can't stand making friends right now. But after a couple of days, it still happens, eventhough I try everything not to get to close with people. Though, I have my space, which everyone respects. Everyone says Hi, but no one says something about it when I sit by myself.
I have my moments where I have to be alone, cause of all the emotions, information, a lot of people.. etc.

The teachers are fine. I don't hate them. I never had not liked any teacher, so that will be fine.
Most of the lessons I enjoy, for what I am capable to enjoy.

But I am glad with these first weeks passing. But now I have to get this going, to stay stable.
That's the hardest part. I already had some days I really had a hard time getting out of bed and to make dinner for myself! But when I tell myself, I have to let all the people know there's nothing wrong, I have to do this. Eventhough my body and mind say something different.

But yeah, I am okay, and I am glad I am. I'm doing this, step by step.
Not all the way, my steady pace is important.